In thinking about running a half marathon one might fear getting a leg cramp or not being able to finish the race. Nah, my worst fear is getting shit cramps while running and having a rebel force type urge that is uncontrollable while among a sea of runners. Then what? I have recently become slightly paranoid about this thought. After a little online research I found out that my paranoia has an official name, it is called RUNNER’S DIARRHEA. I wish it sounded a little better but it sounds as nasty as it is.
Here’s some background (which may be the root of my self-diagnosed paranoia). May 2009: I partake in a 5K charity run for a local children’s hospital. The run starts at 9am. I began way too fast and blame it on a song by Flo-rida–maybe it wasn’t a good idea to listen to a fast paced club/rap song at 9 am. I feel sluggish at mile 2 and can’t even make it up a moderate hill. Run/walk up the bloody hill and then the gurgling starts. It came over me like a rebel force and with every step I took from there on out I felt a loss of control. As soon as I saw the finish line it started happening! WTF!!!! Ran through the finish line and continued running right into a bathroom. Pathetic, this wasn’t a long distance run, and I get RUNNERS DIARRHEA?! In hindsight–maybe I shouldn’t have consumed five beers the night before and the coffee that morning, my bad. . .
For my info on this fascinating topic check out the following two articles: